Getting Drunk At Work is a bad Idea
by Adiji-Sensei
Summary: Oneshot: Just a bit of randomness, I got the idea from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Rude gets a little drunk and does some rather bizarre things. Please read and review!


Disclaimer: Don't own FFVII or the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is where I got the idea from.

A/N: This is a completely random oneshot that my friend convinced me to write, and eventually submit on here. I hope you all enjoy it, but please review so I know if you did or not. Please don't flame though, as I have no marshmallows to roast over the fire.

Rude was slumped on his desk, a bottle of vodka in one hand and his shades in the other. The Turk had had a rather rough day, so he thought he deserved a drink. Unfortunately, he just kept drinking and drinking and he was now drunk as a skunk. Looking over at the clock, he figured he could go and search for more booze. In his travels, the Turk found a rather bizarre wardrobe.

Reno was bored, so he decided that he could go back to the office and accomplish at least one sentence of paperwork. Walking down the hallway, he couldn't be bothered to put his hair up as it was only paperwork he was going to be doing. The Turk raised an eyebrow when he heard music coming from the office, and when he opened the door, he didn't know whether to laugh or scream. Standing in the room, dancing to music, was his work partner, Rude. Rude was wearing a corset, some gloves, had a string of pearls, which looked like they belonged to Scarlet, around his neck. What made Reno cringe the most was the fact that Rude was wearing suspenders and high heeled shoes, which also looked like they belonged to Scarlet.

"Rude...what the HELL are you doing?!" Reno shouted, wondering if the CCTV was recording the scene, as it could be good for future blackmail material. Rude smiled and walked over to Reno, who noticed that the bald Turk seemed to have also broken into Scarlet's make up box.

"Why, there you are, Reno, my darling!" Rude said and walked over to his partner, who was now looking rather pale.

"You did NOT just call me your darling!" Reno said, with an added eyebrow twitch. Rude just let out a very high pitched laugh, which made the redhead cringe.

"Why, my darling, I am a sweet transvestite!" Rude said and draped his arms over Reno's shoulders.

Tseng yawned and made his way to his office, he didn't know why he agreed to work the night shift. Hearing some strange music, he wondered who in Shinra was playing it, and damn near had a heart attack when he opened the door to Rude's office. What shocked him more was the fact that the bald Turk was draped very comfortably around Reno, who also looked rather disturbed.

"I can...come back later...if I am interrupting something..." Tseng said slowly, watching the scene unfold. Reno turned around and tried to shake Rude off, who was now stroking the redhead Turk's hair.

"No, please save me! RUDE! STOP STROKING MY DAMN HAIR!" Reno shouted and his partner looked upset.

"Aww, Re-Re-chan! I thought you liked it!" Rude said, and Tseng was trying so hard not to laugh at the look on Reno's face.

"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO CALL ME RE-RE-CHAN!" he shouted, and struggled to get out of his partner's grip. Finally succeeding, the redhead ran out of the room screaming.

A few hours later and most of the employees were at work, and they had no idea that today was going to be one of the most eventful days that they would ever live to see. Rude had got bored of tormenting Reno, Tseng had barricaded himself in his office, and Rude gave up on Elena when she had threatened to shoot him.

"I'M JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE!" Rude sang loudly as he walked through the cafeteria, and everyone looked over at the drunk man. Even Hojo looked disturbed. He looked to his left to Reno, who was the poor unfortunate soul next to him.

"Isn't it usually you who does stupid things like that?" he asked quietly. The redhead looked quite offended, and walked away, but was halted by Rude's voice.

"RE-RE-CHAN! THERE YOU ARE MY DARLING!" he shouted and began to chase the redhead down.

Rufus was peacefully getting on with some paperwork, when he saw his office door being thrown open. He watched in silence as Reno beagn to cower underneath the desk.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rufus asked, dangerously calm.

"Rude is drunk and thinks he's a transvestite." he said, and Rufus just tried to pretend Reno wasn't there. It wasn't long before Rude walked into the office, and Rufus almost died of hyperventilation. He had never seen anything that funny before in his life.

"I hope the cameras are getting this." he said as he heard shocked screams coming from the corridor. Rude walked over to the desk and sat down, then cast a flirty smile to the president.

"Where is my Re-Re-chan?" he asked in a soft and sweet voice. Rufus saw Tseng walking up behind Rude with a sculpture, and knew what was going to happen. Before he could answer, Rude had been smacked around the head and was lying unconscious on the floor.

Many hours later, and Rude woke up with a massive hangover. He saw Reno leaning against the wall, looking less than impressed, as was Tseng, who was sitting at his desk.

"Reno, what's got your ponytail in a knot?" Rude asked, and just recieved a glare.

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD NEVER CALL ME RE-RE-CHAN AGAIN!" he shouted and threw a book at the suffering man. The bald Turk was quite confused now, and he looked down in horror when he saw what he was wearing.

"Oh dear..."

There was a huge chorus of laughter coming from the cafeteria, and Rude let out a sigh. They had found the CCTV tapes, and Reno was still pissed with him.

A/N: Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!


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